Finding the Purpose of My Life

This was back in 2009 or 2010. When I told my mom that I wanted to start something on my own, her awkward reaction was that she would consult an astrologer. (Sparing you guys all the dramatic bits before and after that) I had already quit my job and she just couldn’t understand why and instead of finding a new job, here I was telling her I want to do something on my own. She had to be supportive, so she said she would consult an astrologer. I told her it dint matter to me. If it works, it works. If I fail , I fail. No astrologer was going to stop me from doing what I wanted to do.

Stubborn Leo mom wasn’t convinced and will do what she wants to do, so she did. Booked an appointment with a family astrologer of sorts, she also had a few other things to sort, so off she went to meet the old man. The astrologer told her i would fail miserably and wind up within a year and go back to doing a job. Great!

 I am my parents daughter, stubborn (like mom) Head strong (like dad),  so I continued planning my work and doing what I wanted to do. I did not have a speck of doubt.

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A few days later mom calls me and tells me she had her doubts about the astrologer because he said something contradicting. Everything she asked him, he had given her a negative reply, so finally she had some doubt creeping in. Now I was assigned with the job of finding an astrologer who did not know our family and consult. (My eyes were permanently rolled up for a while) But there was no point in arguing with her, my mom can follow up on something religious for months, and suck your life out, so I had to get the job done and report back. I got in touch with a friend who’s parents have similar interests and we landed an appointment.

It was a Numerologist. Will do!

Fast forward appointment and land at his office, after the initial blah blahs I told him why I was there. I was planning to start something on my own. He said, in his own words and a Kannada accent “You are born to do what you are thinking of getting into”. No joke!

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At that time, it dint matter to me because I was going to do it anyway. I dont believe in leaving something to imagination or regret. I was prepared to take anything that came in the path.

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There was something else he said to me that day which was actually out of context, but made a lot of sense years later.

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He told me “You have a problem promoting yourself, which you have to get over. If you dont promote yourself, you will deprive so many people of a better life”. It sounded too dramatic for a stupid, ignorant 20 something year old at that time so I simply laughed and forgot all about it.

A few years later, I got a call from one of my craftsmen i was supporting through my work with news he wanted to share with me first. His son was admitted to a college and he was the first in the family to go to college. The work he did for me and the money he earned from it made it possible. He was so thrilled and I was absolutely elated.

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Later that day, it hit me! I had made a difference to someones life. Someone was going to have a better life coz of the work I do. I understood the words. It felt like life had a purpose.

Today, I do so many things, mentor people, do events, share my knowledge, and in spite of all that I do, I still feel that I haven’t done enough. I just wrapped up the Swadeshi Hangout event on Instagram last Sunday and some of you wrote to me asking me how do I have the energy and why would I take on something like that even after a busy work life?

Because if I dont, I will be depriving someone of a better life. There is a strange kind of satisfaction is doing something without expecting anything in return. Being of service to another person in need. (Of course you have to make sure that you are in a better position yourself before doing that, you cant do service to others by doing a disservice to yourself) When I get emails saying my work has given someone hope, the strength to cope, the ideas to move forward, anything, I find it worthwhile. What is a life if you are only living for yourself?

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When I started ten years ago, it was the stubborn girl wanting to do something on her own. Somewhere down the line I realized it wasn’t luck, it wasn’t destiny, it wasn’t about a path written for you. It was about trusting only in your abilities and putting in the work day in and day out is what gets you where you want to be. It was about keeping your eyes on your vision and doing something every single day to work towards it. A lot of people do wishful thinking and depend on luck. What I have learnt in the past decade is that you make your own luck. If there is no door for opportunity to knock, you build that door, create your own opportunity, run, walk, crawl, do whatever, but keep moving ahead.

That is also one reason I have absolutely no inhibition or hesitation in sharing knowledge and resources with anyone who asks. Because what got me where I am today is the work that I put in and I have complete faith in my abilities.

The Numerologist also suggested a name change and I was supposed to use that name if I wanted to be successful. I did not use it. Preethi Prabhu is a name my parents gave me and the world will know me as Preethi Prabhu and now it does.