The Art of Believing

The Art of Believing

All you need is to believe! And it can take you places! (I won’t say Believe me, just read on). The Art of Believing is a post about my journey towards and a testimonial about believing.

I am an early 80’s kid and was a typical neglected middle child. The only memory I have of my early childhood is that of having no friends, being lonely, and extremely shy. I was average in my studies, enough to not get into trouble with my parents and teachers. If I didn’t go to school for a few days, nobody would miss me.

Most of my childhood was spent in having very low self-confidence and the feeling that I wasn’t good enough and everyone else was better than me. Things started changing a bit during college when I left home to live on my own in a hostel but the feeling never went away. Finished college and joined work, and looking back, I was very good at what I did. But the feeling of not being good enough never went away, no matter what I did, I was never happy with myself.

I took design lessons, I somehow was convinced that I was never going to be a professional interior designer, but it didn’t hurt to learn. I spent hundreds of hours researching material and styles and arrangements and colors, but it did nothing to my confidence. I started blogging about home decor, but I was so stressed about posting pictures of my home coz they were not good enough.

I quit my job, started Indyakaleidoscope, took care of mom, and in spite of being told by several people that they wouldn’t be able to do what I did, I never felt better about myself.

So what changed?

I don’t really remember what happened, but one day I was like “I am sick of this shit!”. Why should I feel inferior when I am not? The one and the only person that I need to impress is myself. I do things with great love and passion, and if I am happy about it then nothing else matters. There are millions of people who do what I do and do it well, but there is just one of me and I am good at what I do and I am happy about it. No matter what I do, there will be someone or the other who will hate it, why should that stop me from even trying?

The Art of Believing

Well, the realization came a little late, but it did come and it still wasn’t easy. It needed a lot of positive reinforcement at all times to maintain the attitude. That’s when I got my “Believe” tattoo on my left wrist, being a left-hander everything that’s required to do standing in front of a mirror, I use my left hand and I see it every day. On the days I didn’t believe, it forced me to stay focused.

What triggered this post? I was updating my Instagram profileΒ when it hit me! In the last year, I have decorated for 4 projects and consulted for 3 more with one of them being a large commercial project. I no longer feel stressed about people judging my work. I’ve come a long way πŸ™‚

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